Saturday: Reflections

What to Say and Not Say to Someone Living With Infertility ...

Lost in the thoughts of a woman approaching 40, I look back at my life and think about miracle of my three children, and wonder about the other side of the coin. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing special about me. I could have easily been the woman who fights in the struggle of making a family, or one who had to consider having one alone. For those who experience this today, my heart goes out to you. Understandably, you may feel that the words fall short of comforting, but I’ve found in life, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Looking in from the outside of the situation, a few thoughts and questions come to me. For those who face the challenge of infertility, the world is neither kind or understanding. The weight of the problem becomes so heavy to bear, that it you begin to internalize it, and take the blame. When you carry this burden to a certain age, it now becomes the loss that you must make peace with and move on from. However, how do we as women live with knowing that there was something that we felt destined to do, but could not physically follow through? Living the years with the thoughts of motherhood as something to be expected for any woman, now becomes faded dream. What must we do to keep moving and living, so that our lives are not in vain?

I talk to many women who are going through infertility, and they have voiced the pain. However, they say there is light at the end of a dark tunnel, and the key to happiness is to live your life without regret or shame. This is not your fault, nor are you destined to live a life of mourning. Instead, it is an opportunity to explore the person you are blossoming into, and to discover a life that is meant for your happiness. I like the sound of that.

In all things, we must see the beauty of life. Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is joy. Where there is joy, there is peace. Peace holds us up, and keeps us together like glue. Peace gives you rest and gives you strength for another day. Happy Saturday everyone!

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